" Sweetie, ya got another cat? It's gorgeous! Boy or girl? "
I looked at her blankly, then said, " Errrmm, no..."
" Then where did that one come from? " She pointed up the hall. There, plain as you please, sat a large, fluffy white cat. It was semi-transparent to me, always has been when I've seen previously in my life. Alarmed, I asked her what she saw.
" Jeez, sweetie, it's a big whi... omigosh! "
" But you see it, too? "
" ...yeah...um... WTF? "
" Say goodbye to Z. It's come for her. "
As odd or insane as this may seem, whenever one of my cats was about to die I've always seen a white cat fitting the above description. It's happened my entire life, the earliest instance I recall is about age 4. When it appears, one of my cats dies within 48 hours. I have been fortunate all of them except one died of sheer old age. Even so, it hurts to the very depths of my existence to see that white cat.
Less that 24 hours after my guest and I saw it ( the first time anyone besides me has seen it though many others have been present at many other times it has appeared ) the last of my cats, Zena, aged 16, died of old age. She did not suffer and seemed not to be in any pain.
If anyone wondered where I'd been these last weeks, now you know. Please don't ask if I will get another. It has never been that way. I don't choose them, they choose me. If I am meant to be owned by another, it or they will find me if and when the time is right. If you feel you must do something, spend some time with a creature, yours or another's. Donate food, litter, cash or time to a shelter. If you know an elder who has lost a pet recently, visit that one regularly until s/he he comes out of it or gets another. Believe me when I say to you this type of loss, especially to one who is alone, can be far more devastating than even the loss of a spouse or child. Now that Zena's gone, I literally have to set an alarm to remind meself to eat as she is no longer here to do so.
To those who reminded me to eat, came and made me focus on something besides the emptiness, found things to distract me or simply just handed me tissue and held me for a while, I thank you so very much. For those who worried for me, I think I shall be alright now.
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