Yes, I know, it's been half of forever since I posted.  The trouble has been the blog, not with me.  I try to log in,  I'm told my password is no good,  I go get another, it doesn't work.    I clear every possible thing like cookies and cache and still nothing.  I ask for a new password, it fails to work, too.
    After a time I get so annoyed with it I don't come back for month or so.  The above happens all over again.  What would you do?
   Yesterday I finally got to the point where the entire situation was more than enough.  I wrote several times only to be told I needed to clear my cookies, cache, go to another computer and login from there.
   Go to another computer?  To employ a crass Americanism, what the FUCK!!???!?
   I complained again, particulary at being told to go to another computer, if you please!  I am rarely able to get out of bed with assistance, nevermind without.  When out it will be with a great deal of pain medication to sit in that damned chair and be pushed about where I need to go.  ( I can't think why chairs have no suspension systems )  I have highly limited mobility, one computer close to hand and it absolutely incredible to be told to log in to my own blasted blog on someone else's computer!

   " Sweetie, ya got another cat?  It's gorgeous!  Boy or girl? "
   I looked at her blankly, then said, " Errrmm, no..."
   " Then where did that one come from? "   She pointed up the hall.  There, plain as you please, sat a large, fluffy white cat.  It was semi-transparent to me, always has been when I've seen previously in my life.  Alarmed, I asked her what she saw.
   " Jeez, sweetie, it's a big whi... omigosh! "
   " But you see it, too? "
   " ...yeah...um... WTF? "
   " Say goodbye to Z.  It's come for her. "

   If anyone wondered where I'd been these last weeks, now you know.  Please don't ask if I will get another.  It has never been that way.  I don't choose them, they choose me.  If I am meant to be owned by another, it or they will find me if and when the time is right.  If you feel you must do something, spend some time with a creature, yours or another's.  Donate food, litter, cash or time to a shelter.  If you know an elder who has lost a pet recently, visit that one regularly until s/he he comes out of it or gets another.  Believe me when I say to you this type of loss, especially to one who is alone, can be far more devastating than even the loss of a spouse or child. Now that Zena's gone, I literally have to set an alarm to remind meself to eat as she is no longer here to do so.
   To those who reminded me to eat, came and made me focus on something besides the emptiness, found things to distract me or simply just handed me tissue and held me for a while, I thank you so very much.  For those who worried for me, I think I shall be alright now. 

   "  Hey, I'm here... morning, you!  This came in the post.   The new external drive? "
   A small brown box from a reputable online vendor is presented.
   " So it is and right on time, too. "

  15 minutes later....
   " What is it asking for? "
   " Size and offset parameters. "
   "  Phrased how? "
   "  create partition primary [size=n] [offset= n] [noerr]     I don't know how to express the n values for a partition the same size as my D drive on main.  I'm attempting to create a pair of drives on this unit, J and K.  They should ultimately function as C and D now do.  Do we know anyone might help? "
   " Dunno...let's start asking? "
   " Let's start asking. "

We all know those cute little computer symbols called emoticons.
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

This is NOT a chain letter, so if you don't mail it out,  you won't have
bad luck.
But who wouldn't want to e-Moon a friend?

   " I only count five of them... "
   " It'll turn up.  You know how kittens are.  They play, they have a nap attack, they sleep where ever they were playing, they wake up and look for Mum.  It never fails, hunger is the great motivator.  Just give it an hour or so, it'll turn up. "
  Yes, good, except my Mum is on the way in 20 minutes.  I really need to run the sweeper but until I know where that last kitten is I can't.  "
  " Kittens also get over being frightened by the sweeper, you know... It's not like they'll be scarred for life or anything. "
  " It's not scarring I'm worried about, it's the end tube is larger than the kitten.  "
  " Ah, I begin to see... You think it might end up sucked into the tube? "
  " Yes.  Nearly got the tawny one a few days ago.  It just ran right up when I was doing the baseboards. "
  " You don't have an attachement for that? "
  " Had, but it cracked.  It always got stopped up several times before I got done.  Just as glad not to have it, really, saves time. "
  "  I'm not finding that kitten.  Where haven't we looked ?
  " Have we looked in boots, shoes, bags, under pillows, under or behind the furniture, in the fireplace, the ash bin, the wood bin? "
  " I think so.  Now where? "
  " I'll look in the knot holes in the panelling and in the laundry.  Your hands are small, try the book shelves.  They like to sleep behind the books, if you please."
  The pair of us split to continue the search for the missing kitten.  It didn't turn it up.  I had a hunch after exhausting all the usual places and decided to take up the cushions on the chairs and the sofa.  Under the last cushion, where nearly all the guests sit, was the sleeping kitten.
  " You have got to see this. "
  "  Omigosh!  I would never have thought to look there.  Kittens, ffs! Why do they do the things they do? "
  " Because they can. "
  We looked at each other and burst into hysterical laughter.

   A question was posed at a recent late night gathering as to what I am.  Since I am not one of the regulars the question has been kicking about for rather some time and came up for review again whilst I was present.  After several espresso-fueled hours in which I was treated to more queries than the Inqusition has thumbscrews, the answer was finally decided.

   I really don't know what to make of being pronounced an Ultra-Goth.